one

so here i am, this is me.
i'm all dosed up on perscription drugs and can't sleep. it's 2.16am.
oh right, sure, its a jaded start to what should otherwise be a nice blog. but who cares anyway. and no, this isn't a whine, a muddy marsh of self pity, or even a call for help. it's simply me, lying here in bed.. alone.. again..

so i feel a bit ripped off. i thought these drugs were supposed to be helping.. or at least put a sparkle of hallucination in my eye for my troubles? right? i mean enduring the body scans, the blood tests, the doctors who know everything - except what's "slightly strange" and wrong with me.

still, i should be greatful. work (newint.org) is great when it comes to sick leave, and hey.. they are all lovely people sending me flowers, sickeningly nice get well messages and other vomituitous blah. i'm not sure what's worse, the illness or the pity in everybody's eyes.

at least now i'm getting to the interesting stage. yep, you guessed it. the DVDs have run out, i'm still not motivated to draw or paint.. stencils are even just out of reach.. so it's time to dissect my mind. it's all in my head you know. i'm not even really sick. i'm simply a selfish dick wanting attention. so attend to me. give me more drugs with strange names for things that i don't even have. put a pretty plastic bracelet on my arm. stick a drip to me and ask me repetitive questions. "what's your name", "what day is it today", "what's your name...", "what day is it today".

i answer friday the 13th, i'm your worst nightmare.. in my head of course.

so anyway, like most blogs, i'm just a left field boy, with a sick mind, and a clogged body, throwing my voice to the corner of the room, hoping that sometime, somewhere, someone might notice it and make art from it.

love and gushing gushy things,
(sigh)mon. xxoo